WE WERE LIED TO!

"Just be a good person and good things will happen." No. That’s not truth—that’s emotional bait. That lie has trapped powerful souls in weak-ass roles: the martyr, the peacemaker, the over-giver.

Wake up! Being good to others without being good to YOURSELF first? That’s not kindness. That’s how manipulators find their prey.

Because here’s the real deal: If you’re not loving you first—if your goodness has no boundary, no standard, no self-respect baked in—you’re not being kind. You’re being controlled.

They love that you’re so understanding. So patient. So forgiving. They love it because they can step on your heart with muddy feet and watch you say, "It’s okay."

No. It’s NOT okay.

MINDSHIFT MOMENT: Breaking the Circle of Certainty

If your love has no lines, it’s not love. It’s self-sacrifice in disguise. Real love starts at home—inside you.

Loving yourself first isn’t selfish. It’s self-sorting. It’s how you weed out the takers, the users, the emotional vampires.

People who love you will respect your boundaries. People who are using you will resent them. That’s the filter. That’s the truth test.

So how do you flip the script?

1. Name one boundary you’ve avoided setting out of fear.

2. Write down what staying silent has cost you.

3. Practice one bold act of self-love that says: "I come first."

   
   

Not in a selfish way. In a sovereign way. Because when you put yourself first, you give the world the version of you that isn’t running on fumes.

You weren’t born to be walked on. You were born to rise. So start with YOU.

Generational check-in: Who in your family blurred love with sacrifice? And what boundary can YOU set today to break that pattern?

Drop your truth in the comments.

Looking for more tools to outshine and outlast emotional abuse? Dive into my book, Overcome, Outshine, and Outlast – Defeating Narcissists and Unmasking Emotional Abuse, and discover how to take your power back—one truth at a time.